This week, HuffPost Weddings highlighted a handful of tweets that summed up the marriage experience.
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"Turns out, marriage is mostly just walking behind your wife carrying heavy things," one tweeter mused. "Marriage is essentially agreeing to share 50 percent of your ice cream forever," another lamented.“
The roundup was pithy and sweet, but let's be honest here: Married life can be a lot rougher than having to go halfsies on a bowl of rocky road.
Below, 12 tweets that perfectly capture what married life is really like in less than 140 characters.
1. Marriage is like a public toilet.Those waiting outside are desperate to get in.Those inside are desperate to get out.
— Stephanie Robinson (@adhesivesquish) April 30, 2015
2. Marriage:is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
— Susie Creamcheese (@LunaticOnEdge) June 3, 2010
3. Marriage is like waiting in line for a ride at an amusement park. You spend 99% of the time pissed off for 1% of intense pleasure.
— busty&blunt (@attsmcjay) April 15, 2015
4. Marriage is like deleting all the apps on your phone except one.
— Haider (@LeMeHaider) April 2, 2015
5. Marriage is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
— Dustin Not Hoffman (@Epicdaddy) April 27, 2015
6. Marriage is like a constant struggle to solve a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces keep on changing shapes every minute.
— TD (@ttrinadasgupta) April 19, 2015
7. Marriage is like a video game.Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat.
— Chris Burns (@OneFunnyBastard) April 3, 2015
8. Marriage is like playing Monopoly. It starts out as fun, gets a little boring, then someone steals money from the bank and no one ever wins.
— Roma Lott (@Roma_Lott) April 7, 2015
9. Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute if you want to know what marriage is like.
— Jennifer Chambers (@JenniTheUs) April 20, 2015
10. A bad #marriage is like a horrible job.You are happy to have one but always look out for other options.
— lovetto nazareth (@lovettonazareth) April 15, 2015
11. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
— YourTango Experts (@YTExperts) February 16, 2010
12. Marriage is like a beanbag; comfortable for a while then bloody difficult to get out of.
— Winter Foenander (@ComedyDefect) April 13, 2015